Sunday, January 6, 2013


Victory, in so many was last night was a victory.

My two car garage nearly filled with tiny trolls it was quite an adventure. We got started about 30 minutes before kickoff. My massive pot of hotdogs was quickly gobbled up. Seriously, they would grab one by the end, throw their head back and shove it in, tiny teeth gnashing the whole time.  As for the other dishes, well to be polite I did take a spoonful of each that I could identify.

A steaming pot of rutabagas was surprising good. I have no idea how they were seasoned, but it wasn’t bad at all. Of course, Oton couldn’t wait for me to take a bite of his roasted rat, and because I couldn’t think my way out of that particular corner I did as he wanted. It was stringy and bland. Nope, I’m not going to ask for that recipe. There was a creamy soup of delicate greens only a few of which I could identify- dandelion and thistle. I had to forgo a taste because the thorns were quite evident. There were other dishes, but that is not what you are waiting to hear today.

Just before kickoff I swallowed my Packer pride and played the Viking horn to get them good and ready. As I hoped they stood in rapt attention to the main event. Down the field the Packers flew at the wildcard Vikings. Play after play it wasn’t looking good. I was caught up in the game when Smekk a sweet trolless of Elvsmyr asked, “Where are the females?”

I was taken about, but didn’t want to ruin their version of events. “This battle is undertaken for honor. These are the chosen champions. In the human race females are simply not as strong.”

She seemed to consider my statement, and then said, “Can I braid your hair?”

Societal issue averted I said “sure.”

She spent the entire first half perfecting my ‘do.  I was afraid to look, but the others seemed to approve of her work.   Back to the game I answered their many questions as best I could.

“Why do they yell 3-19 over and over?” Twig wanted to know.

“Aaron Rogers uses it to set a cadence, a rhythm for his team. With it he can tell his teammates non-verbal messages the other side will not understand. “

“Music? This is a battle about music,” a tiny voice asked from my right.

Leaf. “Not exactly, but you could think of the practice and timing this games requires as being musical in nature.” Knowing full well, that is not really the point, but you try explaining this to a troll. I am intensely curious about Leaf, so different from the others she looks like a tiny beautiful human woman.  All I really know is she is Oton’s teacher, the powerful sorceress of Elvsmyr. Her curiosity satisfied, she melted back into the crowd, still a mystery to me.

The game now going well for Packer fans everywhere, I started to relax and really enjoy the party. The trolls started measuring the quality of each player by the amount of facial hair he displayed. Smekk quickly put an end to it. She had fallen under the spell of Clay Matthews, who while able to whip his long blonde hair about is clean shaven.

“Look, the Clay, he is hairless, but I dare any of you to meet him on the field of Lambeau,” she snapped obviously quite taken with the handsome player.

“Clay is a powerful name,” Leaf added, but said no more. Leaving me wondering what she meant.

All too soon the game was over, my beloved Packers had trounced the Vikings sending them home to watch the rest of the season from their couches, the trolls returned to the river, and I made my way to bed. Stopping to brush my teeth I was stunned by the reflection staring back at me. My long strawberry blonde hair was knotted up into seven long twisty braids. Six hung down my back while one came straight out the top of my head. Each was stuffed full of bits of plant matter, dried grasses, crumpled up oak leaves and most striking a full cattail spike stuck sideways across my top braid, Pebbles Flintstone style. Yikes.
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