Saturday, January 12, 2013

Half time

With the game a nail biter, I'm exhausted and need a break. Now I just have to face the food the trolls have  brought.
  
The cauldrons magically bubbling where appropriate, Oton lifts the lid on his steaming offering. Instantly my nostrils are assaulted with what smells like burnt rubber.
"I found it along the human path. Not sure what it was, but there was plenty of meat left on the bone after I chased off the crows," he says beaming proudly.
 
"Uh, maybe later," I mumble as Venn helps himself to a big ladle full.
 
With more than a little trepidation I move on. Next is Pod. He pulls a platter of freeze dried grubs from his cloak, and I suddenly feel weak in the knees. Moving on I find Smekk pulling the battered lid from her cauldron to reveal what looks like tapioca pudding.
 
"Maggot pudding, it's yummy," she says.

Ugh. I quickly set out the hot dogs and platter of cheese. The trolls are excited and the hot dogs go are quickly slurped down, but the cheese remains untouched.

"What is it?" Uredd asks as he leaves deep indents of his grubby fingers in a nice thick wedge of cheddar.  

"It's cheese. You know from milk. They heat it up and it turns..." I couldn't continue. Uredd's eyes have glazed over and the boys (I've started to think of Twig, Pod and Oton as the boys, but I have no idea how old they are) are right there leaving nasty dents of their own.

"Where do you keep the goats?" Uredd finally says.

"Well, this is from cow milk, and I don't have any cows here. This came from..."

"Cow! That's gross!"

I'm tired and second half hasn't even started. "Let's go Smekk, give me a P, give me a A...."

Even she has stopped listening to me. "Give me a C, give me a L, give me a A, give me a Y! Go Clay Go!"

But then I can't say I disagree. Go Clay Go! We need a defense NOW! Please send out the real team....
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