Sunday, December 30, 2012

Pregame...


I should have known, seriously I should have known.

I left the new car at home, and took the old beater suburban to the river. Oton, Uredd, Pod, Twig and Venn were all waiting for me.

“Where’s Folger,” I asked.

“The delicate little bud is too scared to come,” teased Twig.

“Knock it off Trollkin,” said Eog as he rounded a snowdrift. “He sent me in his place.”

“Whatever, now how many of you have ridden in a car before? There are rules.”

They all studied their toes as the crows cackled overhead. It was as I feared. “Okay, I’ll open the back door and you should all climb inside. Take a seat on the bench and try not to break anything.”

A word about my truck, it is also known as the dog hauler. The backseat is covered with a sheet protecting the upholstery from muddy paws, but it didn’t help.

Pushing and shoving they piled in. Once inside they couldn’t sit still.

“Move over,” shouted Venn.

“Pod, I see you’ve had too many bowls of rat stew lately,” said Uredd.

I just got inside, started the truck and rolled down the windows. Before I knew what was happening Oton was on the dashboard.

“Hey, I said to stay in the back.” 

“What, I thought you were talking to them,” he said as he made himself comfortable. It was going to be a long day.

It’s a good thing I live a short distance from Elvsmyr. We made it back without having an accident, but that old woman we passed got the scare of her life as Twig and Pod mooned her.

I had planned ahead, and moved a TV into the heated garage. The cars stay parked outside so I could set up tiny benches and tables.

“Turn it on,” I said to my husband who stood there staring at my little friends. “You thought I was making this up, didn’t you?” I asked.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Just go with it. I don’t know what will happen if they get angry,” I said.

I had worked all morning preparing sausages, pork chops and roasted chicken. I figured they had to be meat eaters. Pod, always hungry walked up to the table, and said, “What’s this stuff?”

I explained the dishes, and too my horror they all wrinkled up their noses in disgust until I got to the sausage.

“What’s in it?” Asked Uredd.

Having spent big bucks on the other cuts, the sausage was cheap kielbasa. As I explained what sausage was they got more and more excited. Before I knew it, the bowl was empty and I was sending my husband to the store for more.

“Not as good as sautéed rat, but it will do in a pinch,” Venn said.

“Uh, thanks,” was all I could think to say.

Their bellies full I got them each a glass of water, and took a seat to watch the game, but not before grabbing a beer for myself. It was going to be a long day. God, I’m such an idiot.

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